Dog days are over
by LadyPalma
Summary: [ArchiexCruella] Cruella De Vil is a puzzle impossible to solve for Doctor Hopper. Anyway, while trying, something unexpected begins to happen. Complete in 4 or 5 chapters.
1. Part 1

**Hello! Finally I can publish the fanfiction that kept me busy for almost a week; it will be made up of 4 or 5 chapters and it's about the crack ship ArchiexCruella (how should I call it by the way? Cruel Cricket, Devil Cricket, Furry Cricket? LoL). **

**Anyway I really hope that you like it, I would really appreciate a feedback! Thanks for reading.**

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><p><strong>Part 1<strong>

"Is that really necessary?" Archie asked with a slightly annoyed tone.

The reason of such disapproval was represented by the new client – or maybe it would have been more appropriate to say _guest_ – of his studio, sitting on the couch in front of him with a red cigarette holder in one hand and a half empty glass in the other.

"Well, you have invited me here to talk and, honestly, I can't do that without the right amount of alcohol" the woman replied, with an unfriendly glance, before taking another sip. And it was then her turn to be annoyed. "Even if I would prefer by far some gin instead of this sort of whiskey…"

"It's scotch, actually" he precised, almost automatically.

Cruella stood with the glass still in mid air and quickly looked up.

"Well done, doctor Hopper! And yet you don't seem an expert…" she commented ironically, while an amused half smile went forming on her lips, that didn't go away saying the next sentence "Let's see: I always smoke , I probably have an addiction to alcohol and I eat so little that my physician in New York thought I was going to be anorexyc at some point. Which is the reason of this meeting?"

The man looked at her for a while in silence and it wasn't a silence full of fear. Sure, there was a little of that, but the main emotion in his soul was a strange form of empathy and maybe also symphaty for her; smoke, alcohol, willing fastings: there were all signs of desperation, pain, void, _male de vivre_. And unfortunately they were sings which not even him cared to give an interpretation about, at least before that moment.

"I would like you to tell me about your obsession for Dalmatians" he finally said, remembering also to himself the real reason for the invitation.

"Oh, right. I'm a villain" she murmured with an icy chuckle, as to confirm that appellative. Then she finished her drink and allowed herself a short break. "Look, I don't consider myself a villain, to tell the truth. I mean, what is the suffering of a herd of animals without intellect compared to my happiness?"

The plainness she showed drawing her strange logic was impressive and it left the doctor litterally without words. However, the astonished silence didn't last long and it was Pongo to break it, coming out for the first time from the corner he had secluding himself in, and starting to snarling against the woman, as if he had actually understood the subtle accusation.

"Oh, I was asking myself where the old _dear_ Pongo was!" she exclaimed with fake cordiality staring – maybe for a bit _too long_ – at the dog.

"You happiness… Does it really depends on furs?" Archie asked, regaining the ability to speak, and lingering, as a doctor, on the most interesting particular emerged in the conversation.

"Of course!" she immediately replied "Someone once said that diamonds are a woman's best friends[*]. I agree and add that furs are her _true love_"

"Miss De Vil… So you really consider the skin of dead animals you true love…"

"Don't act so surprised, doctor. Apparently, your true love is an alive animal" she replied shrugging and taking the chance to give another sinister look at the dog. "Perhaps your situation is even more sad than mine, after all" concluded then, making a deep sigh.

A new silence filled the room and this time not even Pongo seemed willing to break it. The truth was that the woman appeared to the man's eyes as an enigma impossibile to solve; she was different from any other existing villain and that not only because she had committed minor crimes after all and never thought about a global destruction for example, but also and most of all because she didn't seem led by a reason or a material purpose. With her only existence, she denied the theory of "evil isn't born but made", actually the cruelty seemed to be implicit even in her name.

"I know the real reason why I am here" Cruella suddenly started off, after taking a long breathe from the cigarette holder. "You want to know why I became like this, you are trying to find some kind of trauma in my past that could justify somehow my wickedness… But I can assure you that you won't find anything of this. I don't have a grain of magic in my veins, I wouldn't give my life to gain a crown, I didn't have a mother who tortured me and surely my true love wasn't killed in front of my eyes."

Archie listened carefully to her, letting those words confirm his supects and moving at the same time the pen in his right hand to erase the whole list he had previously outlined on his agenda.

Power. Magic. Revenge. Loss of a loved someone. Desire of payback.

"And so?" he wasn't able to hold himself from ask, not hiding the discouragment in his voice and a trace of frustation in his eyes.

"So what? Are you really so idiot as you seem?" she replied, stressing the appellative, while her usual irritation was starting to be showed "I didn't have anything in my life, no chance, no real feeling; there only had been a heap of clothes and my father's money. I've lived in a world of subtle and indifferent cruelty and so I bacame cruel too. Or maybe, who knows, I've always been cruel, since my birth"

She had said those words with apparent indifference and ended with a nervous chuckle, but she had kept her look to the ground all the time and right when she had finished she took another breath from the cigarette holder. Her next predictable move was to search for the bottle of whiskey to fill again the glass, but this time Archie wasn't taken by surprise and instantly stretched his hand on the table between them, stopping her red gloved one. Both of them looked up quickly and their eyes finally met for the first time, green against green and for a moment - just a moment – he seemed the confident one and she the insecure one.

"Frankly, I don't believe that you will ever find your happy ending in a fur" he murmured with convinction, as if he wanted to take advantage of that situation to try to change her mind.

Cruella stared at him without answering for a while, then unexpectedly slightly nodded and gave him a quick bitter smile. But any glimmer of connection opened between them in that moment, soon vanished in thin air; the woman took her hand back, almost burned by the contact, and stood up, grabbing her purse and adjusting the fur on her shoulders.

"I think our conversation is over, doctor Hopper" she simply said, abruptly, without looking at him, before heading to the exit.

"Cruella, wait!" he called her back instinctively, stading up as well "Do you want a piece of advice? Stop smoking and drinking and try to eat more" she said in a friendly and sinceretone.

Miss De Vil chuckled once again, but didn't stop, deciding to turn around only when she reached the door.

"Do _you_ want a piece of advice, _Archiebald_?" she replied, stressing with slight irony the name of the man "Throw away that whiskey, because it really is disgusting"

After that, with the echo of a last laugh, Cruella made her way out, leaving behind her Pongo's predictable bark and the more unsuspected smile of his owner.

**[*] Marilyn Monroe.**


	2. Part 2

**Part 2**

Disgusting: Cruella had no other words to describe the coffee that the girl with absurd roller skates and tasteless clothes gave her. Sure, coffee had never been her favorite beverage – she prefered _gin_, for example – but she had tasted many better than that one during the period spent in New York and, honestly, she couldn't understand why that place was always so crowded.

She took another sip and another dismayed expression appeared on her face: it was really disgusting, maybe even worse than the doctor's whiskey. She didn't have the time to reflect about the comparison though, since a slice of cake was placed on her table and _lupus_ – or rather _gryllus_ – _in fabula _Archie Hopper showed up in front of her.

"Good afternoon, Cruella. Can I sit here with you?"

The woman slowly looked up and let her look travel for some moments on the new comer, noticing immediately a certain particular.

"It seems that you already did, without asking my permission. Anyway, where is your _lovely friend_?"

"Oh, I've left Pongo with my friend Geppetto" Archied replied, pretending to ignore the sinister tone she had used in the question "His son Pinocchio love spending time with him" added then with a spontaneous smile, finally taking seat in front of her.

Cruella would have liked to say ironically that she _loved_ Pongo's company too, but then she decided to stay silent and just raised an eyebrow, starting again to sip – with the usual disgust – the drink in her hands. But that silence was starting to become too long for her tastes and most of all annoying, since the stare of the man had never left her in the meantime.

"Shouldn't you eat that cake?" she said all of a sudden, not loosing the chance to show her cronic irritation and giving a quick glance at the piece of cake.

It was a lemon cheese cake. She had always heard talking well about that, but never tasted it anyway.

"Actually, I had ordered that for you. The last time we saw each other, you said that you don't eat much and so I thought that-"

"If I had said that I don't eat much, then give me a cake isn't the smartest thing to do, is it?" she abrutply interrupted him, with an annoyed glance.

It was an immediate and impulsive answer and it let win the usual diffidence over the sensation of surprise that she had felt in the first moment. She wasn't used to receive free acts of kindness, after all, and she didn't know what was the best way to react.

"But there is no need that you deprive yourself of this pleasure… You already are a beautiful woman!" he replied with a convincted tone, without realizing himself what he was exactly saying.

Cruella couldn't help but let her surprise show this time, opening her green eyes wide for some istants; then she shook her head and slighlty chuckled.

"Instead for you there is no need to make fake compliments to me just to convin-" she tried to reply, but the words stopped on her lips when, raising her eyes, she noticed the man's expression. "Oh, but you really mean that. You have become redder than your hair!"

Archie looked down, unsure if feeling more guilty for the thought or terribly awkward for having been caught. However, she seemed the most upset; the unknown taste of strange joy that she was feeling was completly clouded by the irritation – this time toward herself – for letting her unfriendly character and her sharp tongue ruin a likely nice moment with another human being. So, after some moments full of uncertainty, she found herself doing the unexpected: slowly, she grabbed the fork and let it sink into the yellow cream; then, not without some reluctance, she brought the little mouthful to her lips.

"It isn't bad" she allowed, forcing herself to make a smile.

That cake was actually good, so much that she didn't waste other time before reaching for the plate once again. And in that moment she changer her mind about Granny's diner. And also about doctor Hopper.

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><p>"Your umbrella has finally the chance to be useful!" Cruella exclaimed in an ironic tone, pushing the door of the diner.<p>

Archie simply smiled in reply and preceded her in the way out, ready to open the umbrella, indeed. It was about half a hour since their meeting and in the meanwhile there was another piece of cake and the rage of a sudden storm outside. And what a storm! The rain fell thick, there were already some pools on the road and the thunders let predict that the worst was yet to come. Once found shelter, the man grabbed with a gentle yet decided grip the woman's arm and attracted her under the umbrella with him, silently offering a lift for the short way she had to walk through.

"I've seen your car – not that it was difficult since your way to _make you notice_" he started off with spontaneous and unusual irony, moving the hand to the direction of the Panther De Ville on the other side on the road and alluding to the woman's odd – almost _illegal_ – way of parking. "But in the meantime you won't risk to ruin your… _particular_ hair"

Cruella slowly turned her head to him, letting the raised black eyebows and the annoyed huff that came out of her mouth show her annoyance, but Archie wasn't paying the right attention, looking in front of him with a half smile on his lips. The thing was somehow annoying her even more; it wasn't usual that someone mocked her so openly and most of all she would have never suspected that that someone could have been the nice and shy Jiminy cricket. However, against every instict, she succeeded in staying silent and it was instead again his turn to speak.

"I have to admit that you have actually been a kind person today" he revealed in a more cordial tone, probably realizing that his attempt to joke and make conversation had vanished in thin air.

But this time the answer didn't take long to be said.

"Well, you haven't! You have just insulted me twice in the same sentences!" she replied, finally expressing explicitly her previous disappoval.

The doctor chuckled sincerly amused and shook slightly his head. "It was a joke, Cruella. But now I'm serious: today you have been quite a good company and yes, _kind_ too."

After that new insistence, miss De Vil let out a joyless chuckle and quickened her pace, how much she could with the high heels on the wet asphalt. After having finally reached the car, she placed herself in front of the man, creating an intimate vicinity which the narrow area of the umbrella forced to.

"Doctor Hopper, let me clarify something. I am not a _kind _person" she said, spatting almost in a hiss the adjective and rolling at the same time her eyes "The point is that for some strange reason… I like you… And then you have offered me a piece of cake and told me I am beautiful! But the fact that I'm trying hard to have kind manners with you doesn't mean I'm kind."

They remained for a while just looking at each other in silence, only broken by the sound of the rain that didn't seem to fall off. Cruella had the strange feeling toh ave said too much, Archie on the contrary toh ave not said enough; anyway during that afternoon both of them started to consider the other one as a sort of "exception" in the respective lives.

"I would like to stay here chatting with you, but I'd rather not have a pneumonia tomorrow morning" she said at some point, breaking the silence and opening the door of her car. "Do you want a lift?" she asked then, fiding herself again to show a kind side, that not even her was probably aware to have.

Archie, still under his umbrella, smiled instinctively hearing that offer, but the smile soon disappeared at a second thought. It took just a look at the Panther De Vil for him to have a flash of the likely animated travel inside it.

"No, don't worry about it… I'd rather have a walk" he answered in a fake joyful tone, trying clumsy toh ide the real reason behind the rejection.

"Well, do as you like" she replied slighlty annoyed, letting grasp that she had actually understood more than he would have wanted her to "I really hope that a thunder hits you!"

After saying that sinister and malicious wish, Cruella entered the car and immediately set it in motion. However, before leaving, she thought about it and lowered the glass of the window, not caring at all for the rain, just enough to show her face. Watching the still confused and almost sorry Hopper, she gave him a strangely complicit smile.

"That was me _not_ being gentle!"


	3. Part 3

**Part 3**

"_Love is in the air… Ta ta ta… Love is in the air_"

Archiebald Hopper had never been a singer in his life, quite the contrary he even refused to sing in the shower or during the birthday parties, and yet lately singing that particolar tune felt almost natural. It wasn't something wanted or projected, that sudden need of showing a strange and unaware joy could take him in any moment: while he walked around the town with Pongo, while he cooked alone or while he tidied up things in his office, as he was doing right in that moment. Maybe he hadn't even realized that, but someone else had, someone who wasn't going to keep quiet about it, someone that coincided with the figure of his best friend.

"Are you thinking about joining that TV programme, _X Factor_?"

The sudden question made the doctor almost jump and caused the interruption of the well-known song by John Paul Young. Then, when he realized the identity of the author of that scare, the former Jiminy Cricket relaxed and smiled, inviting the new arrived in.

"Geppetto, my friend, what can I do for you?" he friendly asked, once the door was closed.

"For me nothing, Archie" the other man replied immediately "I've come here for you, actually"

That sentence was all that Archie needed to be forced to set aside the files he was cheking. He looked up in fact and payed all the attention to his interlocutor, but if there was a confused expression and a surprised smile on his face, Marco didn't seem willing to joke.

"Seriously, I'm beginning to be a bit worried…" he continued in fact with a deep sigh "Since you are spending time with that… that woman you are weird, you seem to live in a world of your own and you even sing… _Sweet romantic_ songs, furthermore!"

Hopper widened his eyes and for some moments appeared to be more astonished than before, then he slightly shook his head and made a forced chuckle, trying to hide the embassasment he was feeling, after heard that not too much implicit allusion. For a moment he thought about asking – faking ignorance – which woman he was referring about, but that play would have been too much then, because there was only a woman who lately had won his special sort of friendship and everyonw knew that so far.

"I don't sing _sweet romantic_ songs…" he murmured eventually, succeeding in stuttering that simple defence.

"Ah, don't you? Doesn't _Love is in the air_ seem a _sweet romantic_ song to you?"

"No, it's a song exactly like another!" he insisted again, shrugging a bit "What should I sing? Something like: _Cruella De Vil, if she doesn't scare you no evil thing will_?"

Geppetto let out an amused smile at that start of a song – that was promising in his opinion – but didn't let himself be distracted by that attempt; quite the contrary he used that as a point for his main theory.

"So you admit that there is Ms De Vil behind this sudden love for singing?" he asked in fact, while the smile on his face turned into a triumphant one.

"No, I don't admit anything!" Archie rushed to say "There is absolutely nothing between me and Cruella, if not a civil relationship and probably a potential friendship."

And yet he had become redder than his hair and his apparent calm was betraying a certain agitation.

Marco studied in silence his friend and most of all his reaction, but he didn't seem convincted by that answer and not even satisfied actually.

"It's a pity, then" the carpenter said, against any expectations "If you think that you may like her and you want to be with her, then why shouldn't you give you two a chance?"

Archie widened his eyes for the second time during that brief meeting and this time the new laugh escaped his lips genuinely; okay with the allusion, okay with the joke, but now that sort of attempt to play Cupid seemed really too much.

"Are you really trying to push me into the arms of a _serial killer of animals_ and potential _pirate of the street_?" he asked with irony, emphasising the appellatives to show his friend a picture of the project.

Geppetto smiled again and slightly nodded. "I'm trying to push you to be happy!"

With that sincere exclamation, he decided to stand up and conclude that way his visit, certain that he had given Archie enough to think about. Anyway, just when he was about to reach the door, he turned around and released a chuckle.

"If things shoould work, keep in mind that me and Pinocchio would be really happy to adopt Pongo!"

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><p>Granny's lemon cheese cake turned out to be something more than just "not bad"; that was proved by the fact that, since a week, Cruella's strict diet started to include a piece of that cake everyday. Of course, she ate that along with a glass of gin and the scent of smoke, but eating sweet things was still a true revolution for her and seeing her doing it seemed really out of tune for her character, mostly to the eyes of the ones who knew her very well.<p>

"I swear I'm shocked, dear friend. Has a doctor prescribed you to do that?" Ursula started in fact with a surprised expression, reaching out for the bottle of gin on the table and pouring herself a glass.

Maleficent, sitting on an armchair little far from them, let out a smile hearing those words and with her eyes looked for the sea witch, to throw her a complicit glance. When the two had showed up at Cruella's new house that afternoon, they hadn't expected to find something different than the usual, but instead there was more than a change; they weren't big changes of course, but the cake, the touch of color in her clothes and the remarkable reduction of evil wisecracks was for them worrying enough. And the dragon woman seemed to know well the reason behind all of that.

"I think I know _which_ doctor descrive you that" she added in fact, now giggling a bit.

"What the hell are you implying?" it was Cruella's simple reaction and, at that unexpected allusion, her apparent and unnatural calm started to crack.

"Oh, I'm not implying anything" Maleficent replied immediately with an amused tone, standing up and approaching the table "I'm _openly saying_ that you like that doctor, Archiebald Hopper… Who knows if in some days we will catch you two passionately kissing in front of dear Granny's inn"

"Oh, stop it! You are two idiots!" she exclaimed, more and more annoyed – and also strangely embarassed – looking also at Ursula, who, if not talking, was smiling too much for her tastes. "This is not absolutely true! And we will never end up kissing…! He would never do that, and then –"

"_He would never to that?_ Did you really say that?" Maleficent interrupted, now completely astonished. "If that's your only problem, then you could do the first step, couldn't you?" she added then as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

How that afternoon of general complains and dissusions between villains was becoming a conversation between young girls at their first crush, would have been impossibile to explain, but Ms De Vil wanted to stop playing a part in it; the sudden sound of the fork let fallen on the plate confirmed that, as her attempt to stand up. Nevertheless, Maleficent was quicker and gently grabbed her friend's shoulders, forcing her to sit down again.

"There is no need for such a drama! Me and ursula had had the chance to be happy in our life even if things ended miserable… Maybe this is your chance and the good time for villains to get their happy ending!"

There was no trace of irony in her voice this time, only a sort of affection and a subtle hint of bitterness, while a kind smile was now on her lips. With this sentences opened herself to absolute sincerity and, what was worst, even to hope: if a villain could have had a happy ending, then everyone of them could have and the game wouldn't have been rigged anymore.

"Your sweet tone is frightening me more than your horns and your poker, darling…" the owner of the house said, putting up the usual irritation, but not hiding also a half grateful smile.

The other woman slightly chuckled and shook her head. "Maybe there still the little fairy talking somewhere inside me…"

The moment of tenderness was anyway interrupted too soon by Ursula's sudden laugh.

"What is so funny now?"

And this time was Maleficen't turn to sound annoyed, proclaiming with that radical change of tone the return to her usual identity.

"I was just thinking that it is really ironic that our dear Cruella has fallen in love with a man who has been for so long a complete animal" the sea witch explained, still laughing.

"Well, you can't do furs with crickets, after all" Cruella answered almost immediately, shrugging a bit.

The three women's eyes met again and this time the new laugh involved all of them, relaxed and really complicit maybe for the first time.

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><p><strong>Hello! I've finally translated the third chapter, sorry for the late and thank you for the kind reviews, they kept me going on! Hope you liked the guest appearance of the QoD and Marco in this chapter...<strong>

**I want to clarify that I've written this story before 4B so Cruella may be a bit different from the one of the show and more inspired to the one of the Disney. See you hopefully soon! Crack pairings for life ;) LoL**


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